“Boys shouldn’t cry”, “a boy ought to show maturity”,
and “as a boy, you’re the head of your family”. These are some lines society
recites to suppress the immaturity and emotions of its males. In Ghana where I
come from, such lines abound. My father – who himself is a “victim” of this
indoctrination – does sits and run me through some of these lines after it
appears to him I have transgressed what seems the “male rules”. Often such
sessions are grueling and culminate with a bond of good behavior. My sisters
were permitted some sets of behaviors – emotional, soft in talking, rely on man
for anything, but me. My dad demands I act matured, strong, un-emotional, fend
for myself and supply the needs of my siblings. He also advocates I act as a leader
even as the third in line of six siblings. He scorns, lashes, slaps, and hangs
me by the legs when in the wrong. The least emotion I show for going through a
punishment often attracts another punishment - worst.
The Chauvinist at work
“Boys should pay for things when with a girl”, “a boy
shouldn’t allow a girl to pay for his bills - never”, “a boy should take charge
of his relations with a female counterpart”. “You forfeit your leadership as a
male the very day you accept money from a girl”. “Girls are weaker vessels than
boys”. “The girls place is the kitchen”. “Stamp your authority as a boy”.
Centuries on, the world look robust, firmly grounded on these stereotypes that
discriminate against the female. Talking about gender has assumed the analogy
of asking for one’s kidney. We dread this conversation. The only time we’ve had
to do this, is when we feel embarrassed, disgraced or disappointed for
subjugating our own. Often when we do, it ends with a “talk” to reform that
only lives in the heart of hefty dossiers on our shelves. We take the way of
our forbearers – the route of least resistance. See no evil; talk no evil; and
embrace no evil.
The feminist at work.
Why should we talk about “gender parity” when all was
created equal? And endowed with equal rights at birth? Perhaps, the atrocities
perpetuated by some men would have been avoided had we allowed had we granted
women their share of equality – a prerequisite for world peace. The institution
of family in Africa is on the precipice of collapsing – a consequence of
insincerity of men to their wives. Since men failed to question society for
heaving strait-jacket responsibilities on them against the women, they feel
embarrassed, insulted, and un-masculine to ask for advice, money and any form
of help from the females.
The feminist at work.
 |
| Kwabena Brako-Powers in Liberia |
The parity bridge is far from being fixed in a period
when there is a disconnection between the feminist purveyors and their
constituents. The girl-woman in my village, who cannot read, sees the “battle” lost
before the war. The lettered females have widened misgivings against one
another over minor issue as approach. So the few united females stage their
fight in the halls of conferences and summits and over wine, champagne and lousy
buffet.
True,
we have been “masculinized” but what is the alternative? Why scream from the
roof top when you can get down? The situation looks far from being remedied – a
consequence of the divided front of the leadership of the feminine movement. We
need to ignite once more this conversation, and to stay true till the end.
****************************************************************************
For
more on Kwabena Brako-Powers please visit his blog on: www.brakopowers.blogspot.com or www.brakopowers.com. Please do share your
comments with me. I am interested in learning from you as you learn from.
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